Brand Attic Striped trouser

Earn your stripes

My blog post is bit later than planned (again) due to some unforeseen dramas dumping on my  doorstep like the contents of a  rancid garbage truck.   I’d like to say that I have restful sleep at night for the good deeds I have done, but instead  insomnia has kicked in because I’m a little behind schedule.  On everything.  And also a little scared that the garbage truck might come again.

My shopping research last week was intended to be about shirt dresses.  As far as I am concerned, this is the best sort of dress  to wear in spring whilst we patiently wait for it to get warm enough to parade our best summer floral frocks.  I was very surprised to discover very little on offer in terms of shirt dresses.  Too early, too late?  Not sure.  It’s quite possible that I was just a little bit over-excited by all the stripes stimulating the eyeballs and completely over-looked any shirt dresses in my path (not stripy enough).    And hence this week, I’m going to be a bit self-indulgent and share my biggest stripe obsession with you (practically clapping my hands in glee,  like a child who has just spotted a new furry big eyed toy.  In a sweet shop).

Striped trousers.

Yes please.  How many pairs can I collect until the excitement subsides?

The first thing to make absolutely clear about my stripe trouser obsession, is that the stripes need to be vertical.  Keep them running down, make no mistake with horizontals.  Those are for skinny people who have not yet fully reached puberty, and even then I am not sure that I can condone it.   Cringing slightly as I write this, thinking I’ll have to eat humble pie in a few months when you see me on Instagram wearing horizontal striped trousers.  No, it won’t happen.  I am pretty certain of that fact.

Malene Birger at Net-a-Porter

Malene Birger’s Ginas striped cotton-terry wide leg trousers with a paper bag waist are oh so very elegant. I love these almost enough to justify the £175 price tag, but I know that I would cover them in food and grass stains, probably a splash of wine too, so unfortunately not the right choice for me.  In my head I’m wearing these already, in the South of France with some bright sandals  and a colourful handbag swinging from my arm, large sunglasses, glossy hair and immaculate nails.  But in reality there’re is a chocolate ice-cream handprint on my arse, unseen by me, whilst my son wipes his mouth on the belt.

Please buy them and send me a photo so that I can live my daydream through you.  The small pleasures in life do matter.

 

Malene Birger stripe wide leg trousers

Image: Net-a-Porter

Whistles Stripe Linen Erica Trousers

Again, the stripe linen Erica trousers are a smidgen too far on the cream spectrum for my lifestyle at £165, but I am certain there are some people left in this world who don’t have five-year old’s wiping their snot on their clothes (“but it’s so soft mummy”).  These trousers are for those people.

The Erica trousers are a slightly more cropped length (unless you’re 5 foot 2) and also tick all kinds of elegance boxes.  Perfect for the summer, I would definitely pack them for my summer holiday (if I weren’t crawling out of a tent, drenched in sweat from the exertion of squeezing into creased clothes as fast as possible to get out of the sauna-like dome of canvas).

Whistles Stripe Trousers

Brand Attic Striped Palazzo Trousers

I guess one could argue that the white stripe in Brand Attic’s would get equally smeared with the spoils of a mum’s life, but at £27 it’s a little bit easier to take the risk.  It also has no belt which can double up as a napkin, so already we are looking at a much safer option.  And I think they are bloody lovely.

Pops of colour or tan and you’ll be summer ready.

Brand Attic Striped Trousers

 

Zara High Rise Culottes

Zara calls them high rise culottes, but they’re not as wide as one might traditionally expect.   They are a cropped length if you prefer your striped trousers a little shorter and they are only £25.99.  There must have been a national shortage of elastic in Vietnam when these were made though, I had to do some serious wiggling to squeeze my hips into a size Medium. I know these hips have spawned two children, but they are not that wide.

The other issue I have with these very gorgeous culottes is that they are handwash only.  Polyester?  Seriously?  I’m guessing that maybe Zara kept the costs of the trousers down by not testing or treating for cross staining or pre-shrinking, whatever the reason, my head is screaming “red wine stains!”, which is a real shame, they look super on.   I’ll have to give this some serious thought, with a hand wash cycle function on most machines in these modern times, it’s not the end of the world.

 

RoseGal wide leg trousers

Never heard of this website before, but their Black and white stripe trousers for £16.87 look rather nice, so if your budget is tight after entertaining your brood in the Easter holidays, then you might want to consider these.  I can’t vouch for their quality or sizing as I have not bought from them before, but my one piece of advice would be to check the measurements they give for the style against your own.  If they are a little bit on the cusp,  go for the larger size to be on the safe side to avoid the hassle of returning them.  These trousers will look good worn a little looser anyway.

 

 

Select Mono Stripe Trousers

I went into a Select store once.  I thought it was New Look.   I went back into New Look a few days later and I found myself a slightly perplexed about the cash desk being in a different place.  Took me a few days to work out it wasn’t the same shop (dingbat, yes).  If you are on the hunt for a less expensive pair, why not try the  Select Mono Stripe Trousers for £12.99.  I prefer the more wide-legged variety, but if tapered is your preference, then these might do quite nicely (if you can find the right shop).

Breaking the rules

I was quite adamant that horizontal stripes (on trousers) are a big no-no, but I have found two styles where a bit of rule-breaking might be acceptable.

ASOS Mixed Stripe culottes (£35) looks a bit more like a skirt than trousers (from the front) and it sports a well-balanced mix of stripes. At least, if the horizontal stripes makes your backside look a little wider than it is, the other cheek will look slim.

Asos Striped culottes

Image: Asos

 

Home of Sunny wide leg trousers from Asos are quite pale (those chocolate ice-cream hands), but at £64 a little easier to come to terms with the inevitable spillages  than the Malene Birger trousers.  The horizontal stripes are at the ankles, so we are safe from the bum cheek enhancing qualities.  Love these, a little bit more of a casual feel to them, which might be [a little bit] more appropriate for an inelegant exit from a tent.

 

Image: Asos

 

 

So there you have a few of the striped trousers I have come across and considered for my wardrobe.  I am quite sure that a few more stripe trousers will pop into my posts over the next few months.

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