Before I went on holiday in August, I decided that I needed a pair of snake skin mid calf boots. Preferably in a blend of monochrome tones. Could I find any? Not distinctly anything that ticked the (very particular) boxes.
As soon as I came back from our European camping adventures, I resumed my search for these elusive snake boots, bringing back memories of a pair of black snake skin heels I owned some time ago. They were fabulous. They were high. On the first night I wore them, I was out dancing with a group of work colleagues and friends. I was on my feet all night. Jumping and whooping, oblivious to the damage being inflicted on my snake encased feet.
After leaving the bar, the husband, friend and I stop at KFC to buy a bucket of chicken, devouring a portion of it in the restaurant ( if you can you call it that?) and taking the rest home. The minute I take my perch on the last drunken express home, I realise that my feet are butchered to pieces.
Unwisely, I prise the shoes off to give the toes a little wiggle. As the train pulls into the station, can I get them back on my feet? Not a chance in hell. “We object” they dolefully scream at me silently by swelling up to the size of two loaves of bread. You shall not put those devices of destruction back on these bloated and battered feet. Another issue staring me in the face is that I have a tragic aversion to dust and dirt on my feet. Can’t cope. Solution? I clean the KFC bucket with the serviettes and wedge that on my right foot. Thinking that I might just be able to hop home on one foot. As luck would have it, my friend produces a plastic bag from her handbag. I now have two makeshift shoes.
Thus, after my last experience with snakeskin shoes, I am not only looking for a very particular appearance and style, but they must be comfortable too. My initial search delivered a pair of Fearne Cotton for Very pixie boots. From E Bay. Because they weren’t quite right, but nice nonetheless, I put in a bid of £5. On the husband’s account. A few days later, he says someone has hacked his account and bought a pair of ugly shoes. For £5 I’ll have them, I think, and although I love them, my search for the perfect pair of boots to wear with my monochrome wardrobe continues.
The Snakeskin Selection
My search for snake print boots began as a desire for a pair of boots to work with Autumn and Winter’s monochromatic tones. Early in the season, whilst the stores were still filled with summer stock on sale, I spotted a pair of monochrome ankle boots in Zara, but with summer holidays looming, they did not make their way into my shopping basket. And could I find them again? And thus my search for the perfect pair of monochrome boots is still underway, hoping that they will find their way to me soon.
I found a pair at Farfetch that fulfils most of my criteria, although it’s an ankle boot rather than a mid calf boot, but they do carry a price tag of £640.
Although it is a long time ago, you might wonder (or probably not) what happened to those snakeskin shoe. The ones that hobbled my feet so badly that I resorted to wearing a KFC bucket?
The summer after the bucket incident, the husband and I were out one weekend. I was not wearing the shoes, although they were comfortable by then. It was the week end of the Notting Hill Carnival, back in the days before children. We left our house on Friday night and spent the week end at various friends’ houses, whomever lived closer to the Notting Hill Carnival than we did. On the bank holiday Monday, we returned home in the evening. As the taxi dropped us off, we noticed that our front door was open. Wide open. This was not the first time Calamity had left the house without shutting the door. Panicked, alarmed, we ran into the house and frantically searched all the rooms. Nothing was gone, nothing was different. There was only one item missing. One single snakeskin shoe.